Generic sentence about how everyone is making predictions about the playoffs. Snarky remark about how predictions only make you look stupid. Holier than thou statement about picking the Flyers and Blackhawks to make last year’s final. Strut around while casually mentioning picking the Blackhawks to win the Stanley Cup.

Onto the picks!

The end of the year is a time for reflection and during this reflection most people realize they were generally pretty bad people the year before. People make resolutions to volunteer to help others, donate more to the poor, get fit, eat healthier, or swear at strangers less. According to Wikipedia (the ultimate source), only 12% of people actually achieve their goals. This would explain why gyms are packed in January and become as sparse as ever by February. How do I know that? I’m the one taking up space for a few futile weeks in January.

So in the spirit of the pointlessness of New Years Resolutions, let’s look at another group of (generally) useless people – your 2010-2011 Toronto Maple Leafs! Here are some people who should set goals they certainly won’t achieve.

The guys over at PPP are doing the same, but I swear it’s a matter of great minds think alike rather than me poaching their idea.

So, without further ado, here are the New Year’s Resolutions for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The East is a conference of haves and have-nots. There is a clear distinction between the teams currently in the playoffs and those that aren’t. Sure, the Senators are only six points out of eighth, but their goal differential is almost as bad as the hapless Maple Leafs. Sorry, you're not good; you’re not making the playoffs.

It seems likely that the teams currently in the top-8 in the East will be there come playoff time – barring any crazy winning streak by a team on the outside or a prolonged losing streak by one on the inside. The three-point game means that it’s too hard for teams to make up ground otherwise.

But among the eight current playoff teams there is not a lot of points separating each team. The Penguins lead the conference with 50 points, but the Flyers are right behind them and there are other teams with games at hand, meaning the distance between first and eighth could be a lot closer than it appears.

So who is the best team in the conference? The end of the year seems like a good time to evaluate everyone and see who is in the best position to meet in the Stanley Cup Final. I'll take a look at the West in a few days.

The Leafs just saved their season. Facing a daunting eight game losing streak (not to mention 11 losses in the last 12 games) and quickly down 3-0 to the Nashville Predators the Leafs stormed back and scored four power-play goals in the second period to take a surprising 5-4 lead. The Leafs won the game by the same margin, but not before making things interesting. They took a couple of penalties in the third which could have easily broken them. An ice-cold Jonas Gustavsson even had to relieve an injured J.S. Giguere. The Monster made some great saves and the Leafs preserved the win to halt their losing streak at eight.

This certainly saved the Leafs’ season and possibly Ron Wilson’s job. But, more importantly, I think it saved my soul as a Leafs’ fan.

The first month of the NHL season is complete and the Leafs have looked equally surprising and predictable. To everyone’s surprise, the Leafs won the first four games of the season, while recently their ability to score has seemingly disappeared, not so surprising.

It’s a long season and it’s always important to remind yourself of both the good and the bad to ensure you don’t get too high or too low.

For example, after the Leafs started the season 4-0, I was very seriously considering betting on them to win the Northeast Division. The odds were good and the Leafs were rolling. Then I told myself they squeaked by against Montreal, held on against an undermanned Pittsburgh team, outplayed a badly undermanned New York team, yet only won on a power-play in overtime, and throttled Ottawa because the Senators are garbage. The reasonable voice inside my head told me the Leafs finished 29th only a year ago and I already predicted they would have to fight all year just to make the playoffs (which they’ll make in case you’re wondering). The rational fan won. The passionate fan was too busy getting drunk and yelling ‘Go Leafs Go!’ to provide a cogent argument.

Let’s take a brief look at the first month of the season and see what’s going right for the Leafs and, unfortunately, what’s going wrong.

You might be noticing a lot of new faces around Leaf-land these days. Gone are the good ol' days when Jason Blake took 60 foot wrist shots from the boards. The days when Matt Stajan paraded around as a number one centre (wait, he's still doing that in Calgary?) and Vesa Toskala decided playing NHL 09 was just as effective as practicing.

The season's a few weeks old, but it's never to late for an introduction (unless you've already seen that person around for months and it's too late to ask their name because they definitely introduced themselves and you should know it, but instead you were politely nodding your head and thinking about how you could really go for a cheeseburger and 15 minutes later they were still talking and what's their name?). In those cases you need someone else to facilitate the introduction.

Here's semi-frequent guest columnist Ted Rigby who, in the past, has kindly lent his knowledge of the world of moustaches and the frivolity of draft picks. I promise you dancing, drunkenness, and white-boy raps.

I’m frenzied. The Leafs have started their march to the playoffs by going 3-0. Last year they didn’t win their third game until November 7th. The last time the Leafs started a season 3-0 was 1999-2000. That year they won the Northeast division with 100 points before losing in the second round to the eventual Stanley Cup winning New Jersey Devils.

If you were expecting a long thesis driven piece you’ve come to the wrong place. Here are 31 random, crazed thoughts about the Leafs so far, based on Elliotte Friedman’s excellent series titled 30 thoughts. Originally, I intended to name this series 41 Shots after the Bruce Springsteen song, but that is actually about the police shooting death of Amadou Diallo, which isn’t really a light topic you relate to on your hockey blog. Plus, 41 harebrained thoughts are hard to come up with.

Why 31? It’s one more than 30.

Get ready to shake your head.

By all indications, Nazem Kadri will start the 2010-2011 season in the AHL with the Toronto Marlies. Ron Wilson originally penciled Kadri into the opening night line-up after an impressive season in the OHL, but the former seventh overall pick has registered an underwhelming training camp. I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as bad, but it hasn’t been nearly good enough to warrant inclusion among the top-6 forwards.

Kadri was the Leafs' wild card heading into this season. A potential internal upgrade to a Leafs' offense predicted to struggle this season. This is one of the reasons he’s garnered so much media attention. However, on the ice he’s looked tentative and unsure, possibly due to the great expectations laid at his skates.

Kadri’s demotion may concern some (or put all of Leafs Nation into a panic if you believe certain journalists), but it is the best thing for Kadri long-term.

I had to hold off on posting my fantasy draft report because I didn’t hold the draft for the league I run until last night. I certainly can’t be posting my super secret studs for everyone else to see. Except now everyone can drop their duds and pick them up off waivers...

There is still some time before the season starts, so I’m posting my sleepers list before mid-way through October when I can no longer claim I knew player x was going to put up all those points.