One of Randy Carlyle's major challenges as the Leafs' head coach will be implementing a defensive scheme that somehow cuts down on the massive goals-against totals that have doomed the Leafs for years.

He can start by actually teaching the team about defence, something former coach Ron Wilson felt was unnecessary, apparently. In fact, Wilson didn't teach the Leafs anything about the defensive zone when he was in Toronto, not even where in the rink it was located. Poor Cody Franson was so confused he thought it was in the press box.

To combat the utter ignorance on his roster, Carlyle drew up a map of the defensive zone to help teach the Leafs how to play defence. It wasn't supposed to be leaked to the public, but I found a crumpled up copy in a trash bin after Leafs practice on Thursday. Perhaps it was tossed aside by a certain bald-headed, injury-prone centre on his way down to the minors.

Special thanks to Down Goes Brown for the inspiration for the piece and my friend, Geoff, for his input.

The fans wanted it, and the fans got it. Chants of 'FIRE WILSON' rang loudly earlier in the week against the Panthers, the only life in the ACC after two quick goals against sucked any sort of interest right out of the crowd.

Brian Burke has finally fired Ron Wilson, although the inevitable might be too late for the Leafs to still make the playoffs. The team is only five points out, and the Eastern Conference is truly horrible, but the Leafs need to go on quite a run to end the season to make it happen.

The man brought in to lead the charge is a man known quite well to Burke, Randy Carlyle, the former Anaheim Ducks coach who was fired earlier in the year after a pitiful start to the season.

The only two Toronto Maple Leafs, at least according to the scoresheet.

Thankfully December is a time of holiday cheer because Leafs Nation was getting little to cheer about. It’s also a good thing that the holidays are filled with drinking and stuffing your face into a stupor because if they weren’t it would be all the more painful to realize what’s happening to the Leafs.

Ron Wilson about to punch his penalty killers in the face.

For the 6th straight season, the Toronto Maple Leafs own one of the worst penalty kills in the league. The high-water mark for the team was in 2005-06, when they were only the 7th worst team in the NHL with a nice, round 80% mark. Flash-forward to the present day and they are only killing off 73.5% of all penalties taken, the absolute worst rate in the league.

This atrocity isn’t even uncommon. This is the third time since the lockout that they have owned the dubious distinction as league worst and they haven’t killed off more than 80% of their penalties in eight years.

The Leafs have employed a rotating collection of players over the past few seasons, except none seem capable of getting the job done in even a mediocre way. Sure, the goaltending has been atrocious, but that surely isn’t the only reason the Leafs are so patently bad.

On a team that is scoring in bunches, with the first legitimate playoff chance since the glorious time of middling success before the lockout, the penalty kill is a legitimate concern, waiting to derail springtime hockey in Toronto.

In a previous post I was going to make a blanket statement that no team with a bad penalty kill has a shot at making the playoffs. I was just going to throw it in without checking because it just sounded true and I like when I come up with those bold statements. But I thought better, lest the stats police call me an idiot on the internet. And that’s when a somewhat curious stat popped out.

Not every team with a bad penalty kill will live a playoff-less life. In fact, some actually go to do quite well for themselves.

First place. It's got a nice ring to it doesn't it.

The last time the Leafs were in first place this late in the season was in 1998. Yup, I think that about sums up what's happened around these parts lately. The Leafs already have nine wins, which they didn't achieve last season until early December.

It is truly miraculous that the Leafs sit first overall in the league despite owning the league's worst penalty kill and one of the worst goals-against per game. But they have outgunned their problems on the way to a 9-3-1 record, and when you win, nobody cares how you do it.

But there is legitimate reason for concern. If the Leafs don't rectify some of their problems, it won't matter that they've started the season like gorillas out of a cage, they'll find their lead atop the standings slowly slip away, and they'll fade, joining a long list of teams that looked like Stanley Cup champions in October, only to find themselves forgotten by January.

I am fighting an opponent I can't win against: my heart.

Those are the words of the incomparable Jose Canseco. Of course, he spelt opponent 'apponent', but his words still carry meaning. 

Those words might as well describe my feelings towards the Maple Leafs. No matter what they put me through, they still grab hold of my heart and refuse to let go.

This off-season the Leafs have made changes to their line-up once again, and just like some idiot that never learns, I’m drinking the Kool-Aid. The heart is a powerful thing. Consequently, I’m convinced this season is different from all the others! Hmm, that sounds eerily familiar.

But I’m not such an idiot that I think this team is the 1976 Montreal Canadiens reincarnated (that reference hurt). There are reasons to seriously doubt the Leafs and I acknowledge them (and hate them).

With the season gearing up, here are five reasons to be optimistic, five reasons to be pessimistic, and five reasons to be realistic about the upcoming season.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as Winter Depression, is a mood disorder where people who enjoy normal mental health for most of the year break down during the winter months and suffer from depressive symptoms. It’s believed to be related to a lack of light. Just imagine yourself living in the dead of winter in Edmonton, waking up in the dark, going to work all day and coming home in the dark. You’d take up meth too. And people get mad at Chris Pronger for demanding out.

There’s a little known strain of SAD which has a similar onset and produces the same depressive symptoms. This strain is known as Maple Leafs Syndrome (MLS) and begins in late November and early December. Early onset has been known to occur even earlier - sometimes as early as October 1st. Its inception coincides with mounting losses in the stats column, a lack of first round picks, and a dearth of talent.

A well-known treatment for SAD-MLS is copious amounts of booze. Unfortunately, it’s only Tuesday night and I’m sort of a semi-productive member of society. So if you’re feeling blue about the blue and white then you might want to read the following points. Sometimes finding a glimmer of hope is all that can keep you going.

As you might imagine, this was a very hard list to compile. So sometimes the points aren't so hopeful. Take a shot if you feel sad.

The end of the year is a time for reflection and during this reflection most people realize they were generally pretty bad people the year before. People make resolutions to volunteer to help others, donate more to the poor, get fit, eat healthier, or swear at strangers less. According to Wikipedia (the ultimate source), only 12% of people actually achieve their goals. This would explain why gyms are packed in January and become as sparse as ever by February. How do I know that? I’m the one taking up space for a few futile weeks in January.

So in the spirit of the pointlessness of New Years Resolutions, let’s look at another group of (generally) useless people – your 2010-2011 Toronto Maple Leafs! Here are some people who should set goals they certainly won’t achieve.

The guys over at PPP are doing the same, but I swear it’s a matter of great minds think alike rather than me poaching their idea.

So, without further ado, here are the New Year’s Resolutions for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The Leafs just saved their season. Facing a daunting eight game losing streak (not to mention 11 losses in the last 12 games) and quickly down 3-0 to the Nashville Predators the Leafs stormed back and scored four power-play goals in the second period to take a surprising 5-4 lead. The Leafs won the game by the same margin, but not before making things interesting. They took a couple of penalties in the third which could have easily broken them. An ice-cold Jonas Gustavsson even had to relieve an injured J.S. Giguere. The Monster made some great saves and the Leafs preserved the win to halt their losing streak at eight.

This certainly saved the Leafs’ season and possibly Ron Wilson’s job. But, more importantly, I think it saved my soul as a Leafs’ fan.

It’s the start of another season and since January 31st the Leafs have made drastic changes to the line-up that started last year so poorly.

The beginning of every season provides ample opportunities to get overly excited and make rash predictions about how the season will fare. Let’s just say I’m glad I started this blog after the start of last season, otherwise there would be a very erroneous prediction forever engraved on the internet.

This year is different. I’m certainly still optimistic about the Leafs’ chances this season, which is my usual September feeling, but I also recognize the reasons I should be pessimistic. The Leafs did finish second last a year ago.

Without a first round pick (yet again) Leafs Nation will be fully committed to a winning season. Tank Nation is dead. With the season about to begin here are five reasons to be optimistic, five reasons to be pessimistic, and five reasons to be realistic about the upcoming Leafs’ season.

The title of this article was originally ‘A Biased Leafs Fan’s Objective Comparison of the 2010-2011 Leafs and Habs – An Analysis of both the Short and Long-Term’. But of course that’s a longer title than Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.

Based on last year it might seem foolish to compare both teams. The Canadiens managed to make it all the way to the Eastern Conference Final, while the Leafs not only finished dead last in the Eastern Conference, but gave their second overall draft choice to the Boston Bruins.

However, it took Montreal until the last game of the season against the Maple Leafs to clinch a playoff berth – which they narrowly achieved by losing in overtime.

Montreal starts the new season largely the same – minus their team MVP who is now in St. Louis. The Leafs made dramatic changes in January and have made minor tweaks this off-season.

How do these teams compare now? Let’s break it down.