Bad News Berezins

As you get older many more and more things begin to take increasing importance in your life: family, work, house, dogs (I will begrudgingly list cats as well), etc. It's perfectly understandable if you have less time to devote to fantasy hockey, so I get it if life gets in the way of researching sleepers or developing a killer draft strategy or learning how advanced stats can help win your league. But no matter how little you pay attention to fantasy hockey, the one non-negotiable area of your life you absolutely cannot neglect is your team name.

Luckily, I'm here to help. Or, more accurately, my friend Mike is here to help. Below is a list of the best of his 2014 creations. I have added a few that were floating around the internet, but these are probably 95% Mike's creations.

So although your kids may take the No. 1 spot in life's priorities these days, after naming little Katniss or baby Apollo, there's not much more important than naming your fantasy hockey team.

If nothing on this list suits your fancy check out all the fantasy hockey team names from 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010. As always, feel free to add your own creations or anything else you find in the comments below.

Backes to the Future

Fantasy hockey sleepers studied? Check. Funny fantasy hockey team name? Check. All that stands between you and league domination is a killer fantasy hockey team logo. And you're in luck, because I have a fresh batch, most of which aren't as poorly Photoshopped as last year's logos.

It's hard to ease back into regular production after posting a dramatic, emotionally-charged coming out story. So to make the transition easier I'll post something that goes in the exact opposite direction—the world famous Fantasy Hockey Team Names list!

Unlike in previous years, I actually didn't have to scour the internet for many fantasy names this time around. That's because my friend Mike (who usually provides a healthy number of the names) went wild this year, sending me probably 95% of the names listed below. He has a gift.

If you somehow can't find a name that tickles your funny bone from the many below, be sure to check out the fantasy hockey team names from 2012, 2011, and 2010. And if you're looking for a logo that strikes fear (and laughter) into your opponents, make sure to check out my bad Photoshop skills.

Kriss Cross: A terrible rap group named after a terrible hockey player.

In the quest for fantasy hockey superiority, you need to spend time studying sleepers, obviously, and everyone knows a kick-ass name will help too. But a seemingly undervalued aspect of creating a fantasy hockey juggernaut is outfitting your team with the type of logo that strikes fear (or, more accurately, laughter) into the hearts of your opponents.

Here is a sampling of my (bad) Photoshop efforts to create a logo/avatar for different fantasy hockey team names. I will take requests in the comment section if you are brave.

Bieksa and I Know It: No team name is complete without a terrible Photoshop

Follow Five Minutes For Fighting on Twitter and Facebook! And read the list of 2013 Fantasy Hockey Team Names.

Studies show that how well you do in fantasy hockey is directly related to how creative and funny your team name is. The funnier your name, the better you will do. It's science. Don't question it.

With that in mind, you better pick a great team name this year. But here's the secret: You don't actually have to put much effort into a great name, just refer to this year's handy list of the best fantasy hockey team names.

I do not claim to have thought of all of these myself, but like a homely librarian, I have done my curatorial duties and amassed a list of the web's best for your own personal use.

If nothing on this year's list suits your fancy, you can find the list from 2010 here and 2011 here. There is sure to be something that you like.

So, in keeping with tradition, here is this year's list of the best fantasy hockey team names. Feel free to post your own suggestions in the comment section.