"Where's your beard?"

Dustin Penner's playoff beard is overrated. There I said it. The mountain man from Manitoba may have a beard that is the woolly mammoth of beards, almost like an air bag of hair protecting his face from harm, but it's overrated. Just as overrated as Shea Weber's beard last year.

Now, this is certainly blasphemy, because anyone with a working set of eyes can see that Penner's beard lords over all other beards, just as Weber's beard last year took on a "Madness? This is Sparta" quality that kicked all other beards into a pit of death.

The playoffs are drawing to an exciting conclusion and that means not only will a Stanley Cup winner be crowned, but that there are beards growing out of control on players' faces. One may be more important than the other. Regardless, the beauty of the beard needs appreciation. That means it's time for the second annual Wendel Clark All-Stars! The best beards of the playoffs are extensively scouted and each position is awarded a beard All-Star.

The rules are simple: No player could have started growing a beard before the playoffs began. That means players like Shea Weber and Ryan Malone are disqualified. It's tough, but if you have a beard before the playoffs you're cheating. It's not a playoff beard in January; it's just a beard. If you grew a moustache before the playoffs began I'll make an exemption. Regular season moustaches: In; regular season beards: Out. This is serious business.

Before I get to the all-beard team, let's break down some awards first. Think of these like the Grammy awards they give out before the taped broadcast.