People hate Pierre McGuire. His most redeeming quality is looking like The Master of Disguise dressed as a turtle. Yes, that is a terrible movie and an old enough reference that probably three people thought it was funny. Yes, that is his most redeeming quality.

When I attempted to answer the time-tested question, "Why do people hate Pierre McGuire?" the response was overwhelming. People just don't like him, and they Google their hatred for him a lot.

Mercifully, Pierre McGuire was hired by NBC in 2011, so his presence (at least in Canada, sorry America, you're stuck with him) is minimal. However, his void as the most annoying on-air Canadian personality was filled almost immediately—like a decapitated hydra—by Glenn Healy.

People end up here quite frequently by Googling their hatred for Healy, as well.  So, why do people hate Glen Healy? Let me count the ways.

The Maple Leafs suck and you're an idiot for liking them.

That's essentially the premise of Why The Leafs Suck And How They Can Be Fixed by Al Strachan and Leafs AbomiNation: The dismayed fan's handbook to why the Leafs stink and how they can rise again by Dave Feschuk and Michael Grange.

The titles of both books imply that the authors, in their infinite wisdom, have the secrets to turning the Leafs around, although neither really does. Instead, both books spend the bulk of their print describing years worth of Leafs idiocy and basically laughing at anyone who is stupid enough to support the team.

Peter Robinson, author of the upcoming book Hope and Heartbreak in Toronto: Life as a Maple Leafs Fan, chooses not to take the same tired path as the aforementioned authors. Robinson doesn't want to profiteer off Leafs fans' misery, because he is one.

I’m frenzied. The Leafs have started their march to the playoffs by going 3-0. Last year they didn’t win their third game until November 7th. The last time the Leafs started a season 3-0 was 1999-2000. That year they won the Northeast division with 100 points before losing in the second round to the eventual Stanley Cup winning New Jersey Devils.

If you were expecting a long thesis driven piece you’ve come to the wrong place. Here are 31 random, crazed thoughts about the Leafs so far, based on Elliotte Friedman’s excellent series titled 30 thoughts. Originally, I intended to name this series 41 Shots after the Bruce Springsteen song, but that is actually about the police shooting death of Amadou Diallo, which isn’t really a light topic you relate to on your hockey blog. Plus, 41 harebrained thoughts are hard to come up with.

Why 31? It’s one more than 30.

Get ready to shake your head.

What a slow and boring July - both hockey wise and blog wise. I went 2 for 31. Ugly. At least July had some beautiful weather which made it terribly easy to get away from the computer. And TV is back to being great now that Big Brother and Jersey Shore are numbing minds. So who cares about hockey, right?

Wrong.

I’ve compiled a list of my thoughts over the summer because despite my prolonged absence from the net and the lack of hockey news tumbling through town, I’m still craving hockey.

Consider this the first instalment of a series I’ll call 41 Shots. I’m taking the idea from Elliotte Friedman who does a great piece for CBC's website called 30 Thoughts.

Here’s a collection of thoughts that don’t care for proper structure and paragraphs. It’s the summer. Give me a break.

This post-season I’m watching more hockey compared to the past few years. I’m watching pretty much every series, at least some of every game. When the Leafs are in the playoffs I really only watch their games and in the post-lockout I’ve only really followed players in my pool. Maybe this year is different because I’ve made predictions, so I actually have something at stake in every series.

I’m glad I’m invested in each series because they’re all fantastic. The most lopsided game was a 4-1 Nashville victory in game 1 over Chicago. This score is misleading because two of the goals were on an empty net. Every game is close and we’ve had the good fortune of watching a few overtimes as well. There hasn’t been any marathon overtime sessions yet, but I’m sure a three overtime game is on its way.

Here are some random observations from the first week of the playoffs.

As you may know, I love CBC’s coverage of hockey every Saturday night. The one aspect of the show that needs to be changed is Mike Milbury’s presence. I understand they have him there to say stupid things and create fodder for the rest of the pundits, but enough. This man is colossally stupid. Even worse, when Al Strachan is on the hot stove, it’s like watching two infants debate the feasibility of time-travel. There’s a reason Milbury beat a man with his loafers, he’s certifiably bat-shit crazy.

First, how a man can ever get a job speaking to millions after going into the crowd during a game and beating a man with his shoe is beyond me. Amazingly, that isn’t even how he acquired the nickname “Mad Mike”. Yes, beating someone with their own shoe isn’t the craziest thing this man has done.