Backes to the Future

Fantasy hockey sleepers studied? Check. Funny fantasy hockey team name? Check. All that stands between you and league domination is a killer fantasy hockey team logo. And you're in luck, because I have a fresh batch, most of which aren't as poorly Photoshopped as last year's logos.

It's hard to ease back into regular production after posting a dramatic, emotionally-charged coming out story. So to make the transition easier I'll post something that goes in the exact opposite direction—the world famous Fantasy Hockey Team Names list!

Unlike in previous years, I actually didn't have to scour the internet for many fantasy names this time around. That's because my friend Mike (who usually provides a healthy number of the names) went wild this year, sending me probably 95% of the names listed below. He has a gift.

If you somehow can't find a name that tickles your funny bone from the many below, be sure to check out the fantasy hockey team names from 2012, 2011, and 2010. And if you're looking for a logo that strikes fear (and laughter) into your opponents, make sure to check out my bad Photoshop skills.

Bieksa and I Know It: No team name is complete without a terrible Photoshop

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Studies show that how well you do in fantasy hockey is directly related to how creative and funny your team name is. The funnier your name, the better you will do. It's science. Don't question it.

With that in mind, you better pick a great team name this year. But here's the secret: You don't actually have to put much effort into a great name, just refer to this year's handy list of the best fantasy hockey team names.

I do not claim to have thought of all of these myself, but like a homely librarian, I have done my curatorial duties and amassed a list of the web's best for your own personal use.

If nothing on this year's list suits your fancy, you can find the list from 2010 here and 2011 here. There is sure to be something that you like.

So, in keeping with tradition, here is this year's list of the best fantasy hockey team names. Feel free to post your own suggestions in the comment section.

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Last year I compiled a pretty comprehensive list of all sorts of fantasy hockey team names I've found over the years in various leagues, message boards, and random surfing on the web. My friend Mike added a bunch of gems he came up with as well. You can find last year's list here.

But, as you can imagine, a year is a long time to scour the internet and rack your brain for other clever (and stupid) things to name your fantasy team. Sure, that year could have been better spent doing a lot of other things, but I'm here to help you make your friends laugh, so I've amassed another set of names to help you.

Because, as always, no one should feel the shame of a lame fantasy hockey team name. You might not have the best roster, and you might finish in last, but at least you'll get a few laughs. And, ultimately, isn't that what fantasy sports are about?

No? They're about money? Okay, well read my post about sleepers then.

For the rest of you, onto the names!

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Training camps have started and the regular season is only a few weeks away. Not only does that mean the start of hockey season, but it also means the start of fantasy hockey season.

Fantasy sports embrace everything nerdy, yet involve sports, so they somehow get a free pass. There’s little difference between fantasy sports and Dungeons and Dragons. Getting killed by a goblin in the Temple of the Frog is just like drafting Johan Franzen in the first round and seeing him tear his knee in the first week of the season. (Note: I had to google that Dungeons and Dragons reference, so there)

As if becoming hyper-involved in a fake sports team isn’t bad enough, there is the very serious business of naming your team. It’s not enough to just name your team, but you need to have the right name that creatively incorporates something hockey into a well-known pop culture reference. It's essential.

I admit I boringly used Blades of Steel last season (after the Nintendo video game). I’m not gifted with this particular trait. To compensate I have scoured the internet for the best team names I could find. I procured most from message boards or previous leagues I have been a part of, so I make no claims of ownership.

However, my friend Mike has the astounding ability to create some of the most clever and hilarious team names I have ever seen. He’s been generous enough to throw me a whole bunch of suggestions which I have added below to what is a (growing) list of fantasy team names for general consumption. Because no one should feel the shame of a lame fantasy hockey name.